What would you do if you had the winning lottery ticket? Would you buy a mansion? Your favourite sports car? Would you quit your tedious job and live on a yacht?
Yes, you would probably do all of that and more, but here’s what you shouldn’t do on the off-chance your winning lottery ticket was a prank by one of your colleagues: Don’t send your boss an email telling him to f**k off.
Meet the unfortunate Jeremy Carr. Jeremy describes himself as middle-class, hard-working, and the unluckiest person in the world, and for good reason.
Last Friday, Jeremy bought a lottery ticket with a colleague after work. He’s not a betting person, he claims this was the first (and last) lottery ticket he ever bought. What he didn’t realise was his ticket was swapped with a fake by his colleague, who was in for a good laugh.
Sure enough, it wasn’t until Saturday night when Jeremy realised he’d hit jackpot, around 10.2 million dollars. The first thing he did, however, wasn’t buying any items that anyone would describe as extravagant, he didn’t even call any loved ones (or his colleague, who could’ve very easily advised him), instead, he decided to send his boss a strong-worded resignation email.
Here’s what he sent his boss:
15 October, 2017
Ms. [NAME WITHHELD]
***** Accounting Firm
Please accept my letter of resignation from my shi**y position as staff accountant. I will be spending the rest of days having threesomes on yachts and sipping wine on private jets. Just wanted to notify you that you were an absolute tyrant and nobody likes tyrants. I won’t be needing that promotion you promised me 8 years ago and I will certainly live longer knowing that I won’t see your grumpy face or smell your coffee breath every morning until my hair turns grey.
You can f**k off and have a nice day. I know I will.
It’s safe to say that Jeremy is now unemployed with no yachts nor private jets. It’s also safe to assume he’s no longer friends with that colleague.